Hello Readers! As you may or may not know depending on how well you know me personally, my boyfriend went off to college this fall! To clarify, I don't consider our relationship long distance at all. We're only about 50 minutes apart which isn't bad at all. The reason I'm writing about this particular think, is because I am in a relationship that has lasted a long time whether we're close or not and I feel like I can give some tips on how to maintain a relationship. Especially a long distance relationship because we've worked through the challenges of not being super close all the time. So, here are my top 5 tips to maintain a long distance relationship. If you're going to experience this in the future (younger readers) it's best to know what to expect! I'll be talking mostly about college situations, but this can be applied to work endeavors and/or trips as well.
1.) The first few days will be the worst. Ignore them.
When my boyfriend first got to college he was figuring everything out, meeting new people, exploring campus, and hanging out with all of his new friends. Whereas I was sitting at home doing the same things I normally do waiting for him to call or text or do something. He was so busy! I didn't even think of what he might've been doing. My advice in this scenario, is to ignore the first few days. Once everything settles down and your significant other gets into a routine, everything pretty much goes back to normal. This time goes by a lot faster if you have a hobby to keep you occupied. Do that.
2.) Communication is key. Remember quality over quantity.
Communicating will make or break your relationship. When someone goes off to a new place where you don't know anyone, it's easy to worry about them. A lot. Although they'll be exploring and checking things out make sure you set some guidelines. My example with Corey is that I just know where he is if he's going to be unable to use his phone for a long period of time. It's much easier for him to say "Hey, I'm gonna go to a football game with the guys! Talk to you around 10!" than it is for me to call all his friends to make sure he's not dead. It helps with trust too! Sometimes in the morning he'll text me with the major events he has for that day (church, work, etc) so that I can do my own thing and not have to worry about anything crazy! We found it works a lot better that way and keeps both of us a little less stressed out!
3.) Hypocritical behavior will ruin a relationship.
This is self explanatory. If you expect someone to do something, don't run around and do the opposite. They're making an effort to keep you happy and you should be doing the same thing. This is sometimes hard as it is easy to feel as if you and your significant other have different circumstances. You do not, and you shouldn't act as if you do.
4.) Trust is Necessary.
College is a scary place and everyone knows about the rumors. The partying, the drinking. I know you've heard it too. The worst part is, you can't be there to know what's going on. If you're in a committed relationship, you need to trust the person you love. If your significant other has promised you something, you need to trust that the promise will be kept regardless of distance. You know them as a person and shouldn't assume that they will mess up. If they do, it's on them! But trust is important to keep your nerves under control. You can't make their decisions for them, but they'll make the right ones if they truly love you the same way!
5.) Make sure you aren't too dependent on your significant other.
If you can't function and complete daily tasks without your boyfriend/girlfriend, something is wrong. College will not be fun for either one of you. My advice would be to have your own hobbies to keep you occupied when the other is gone or busy. Personally, I'm very independent and would rather be drawing or writing or reading than hang out with other people, so this was the easiest for me. This whole thing goes so much smoother if you do your own thing when you're separated and do your together thing when you're hanging out. If you're too dependent on your significant other, you will literally lose your mind because they were the only thing you ever had to look forward to. I think it's important to invest your time in yourself as well, because when they're at college you need something to do! I hope that made a little sense!
Thank you for reading! I hope these help a little bit and I hope my examples were relevant. Please let me know what you think! Bye!
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